Discipline without yelling and punishment

Raising children is the most difficult task and responsibility that a parent has. Being able to communicate with our children also means convincing them of the right way to behave. It takes a lot of patience and perseverance. And if they aren’t there, there’s no winning. Discipline without yelling and punishment.

The best way to convince our children is by leading by example. Let us become role-models that we want them to see and copy. Hints, shouts and punishments are now outdated and aren’t recommended.

Punishment has a subtle difference from consequences. While the consequences are directly related to the child’s actions, the punishment carries an air of arbitrariness: “Since you haven’t done your homework, you won’t be watching TV.”

Punishment, therefore, while providing momentary relief to the parents (especially when they’re angry), doesn’t actually teach the child anything. Children understand they shouldn’t do something, but they don’t know why they shouldn’t do it.

Punishment creates anxiety and fear in children. These two unpleasant feelings can be generalized to the child so much that one becomes possessed by them to such an extent that they affect his development and performance in other areas, e.g. relationships with peers, school adjustment, interest in learning, etc.

Consequences are related to actions. For example: “If you don’t wear a jacket, you will get sick.” Or “if you don’t eat your food, you’ll get hungry soon.”

Natural consequences are usually either too dangerous or inappropriate, so we must resort to consequences that have some logical connection to the behavior we want to correct.

Our attitude should be instructive and our tone friendly. This will be easier if we don’t let our egos or emotions inflate the issue. When we feel angry, it isn’t the best time to issue logical consequences.

Encouragement improves self-esteem

The most important part of our responsibility as parents is to encourage children to feel good about themselves (even when they’ve made a mistake). And when you discourage them they feel like no matter what they do, it will never be enough.

We can always encourage the child no matter what happens.

The most important part to remember is that we should strive for the best, not the perfect. There are no perfect parents and of course no perfect children either.


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