Love seems to have its own language, or rather languages, which both partners should be able to understand. The flow of messages between the transmitter and the receiver should be unobstructed so that the quality of the relationship evolves nicely.

So if you want to be really good at showing your esteem to your partner, you need to know what kind of language affects that person the most. One of the easiest ways to determine one’s language of love is to watch how it interacts with those around him/her.

Anthropologist Dr. Gary Chapman in his book “The 5 Languages of Love” refers to one’s ability to express his / her love to his / her spouse in a way that he / she can understand. He considers this to be the most effective way of communicating and calls it “the five languages of love”, which are:

Confirmation words

It is important to recognize the positive aspects of our partner and encourage him/her on a regular basis. Verbal compliments create an incentive for positive feedback. The courtesy of expression is a key element in our appreciation for our human being.

Quality time

We should pay attention to our partner when he/she needs to discuss and share with us an issue that concerns him/her. You surely have noticed some couples at coffee time while each one sinks into their cellphone without communication. Quality time is also involved in our partner’s activity, if possible.

The gifts

“Gifts” doesn’t necessarily mean gifts of any monetary value, small or large. On the contrary, we refer to the intention and the act of offer. One of the simplest and most noteworthy gifts is to leave a note on the table with a couple of nice words for our partner.

Care acts

We should think how we can rest our partner, starting with the everyday things, such as helping with the housework, the cooking, caring for the garden, etc.

Physical contact

It’s not only sexual contact. A touch, a hug, a kiss have their own distinct power.