The need to control everything

It’s normal to feel the need to control what’s happening in our lives. We often feel even better when we know exactly what will happen in the future.

But it’s equally important to realize that we cannot control everything. Attempting to do so may lead to negatively charged emotional states and increased anxiety.

That’s why we can help ourselves get one step closer to happiness by letting go of control for a while and allowing the unexpected to direct us. After all, the unexpected doesn’t always mean something negative.

The past teaches us that there are many unexpected pleasant surprises in our lives.

Where does the need for absolute control come from?

Our desire to be able to control the environment, as well as the situations that arise, is deeply rooted in our consciousness. And that’s because we feel safer the more we know about the world. On the contrary, the less we know, the greater the feeling of fear is.

How does the need for complete control affect our lives?

It increases stress and anxiety

When we try to control everything, we often experience more stress than people who don’t. And that’s because the slightest unexpected thing that happens can throw us off and stress us out. A fact significantly associated with a reduction in the sense of control.

It reduces satisfaction

The satisfaction of a person who wants to control everything is usually achieved when everything goes according to his plans. But is this always possible? Almost certainly, no, as the undefinable factors vary and don’t depend on us. Weather conditions, road traffic and health conditions, are just a few simple examples of volatile factors.

We become judgmental

Since there is no way to control everything in our lives, dwelling on what is outside of our control can make us judgmental. Besides, there are way too many things we don’t like in general.

And this in turn can make us irritable and nervous leading to a vicious cycle of emotions that affect our relationships with people. And sometimes distance us from them.

How will we benefit if we let go of control?

Calmness increases

If we think that trying to control everything causes stress, it’s logical to conclude that avoiding it enhances our calmness and mental relaxation. Therefore, it’s worth making efforts, even if slowly at first, in order to leave ourselves to situations and allow them to guide us, taking advantage of the good side of surprises.

The “magic” of the unexpected

In life, whether we control our every action or not, there will almost always be undefined factors. The flexibility to adjust depending on the situation is a “muscle”. That we exercise best when we accept the unexpected as a new challenge. If we let ourselves be a part of our experiences, as our life “unfolds”, we will be able to better enjoy each moment of it.

It improves our relationship with ourselves and people around us

Not wanting to be in control of everything helps us significantly to not be so critical of ourselves as well as others. We become able to slowly develop our love based on essential things and not on how the various situations that may have arisen evolved.

Often when control becomes excessive it leads to compulsions, fatigue (physical and mental), difficulties in relationships and socialization, excessive routine, very intense fears, anxiety or even procrastination. Don’t let perfectionism ruin your freedom and life.


You’re already happy

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